FuzzMud

Bucket of Pale

Intro

Watch the children trip away

Verse 1

Sitting in the room I look across the way
Sitting in a room waiting on today
Arms move around and I catch a trail
Arms that look so frail

Chorus

Bucket of pale (4x)

Verse 2

Watch it bury me, I taste it in the brain
Watch it bury me, things ain’t the same
And I get lost inside your words
And I am lost in worlds

Bridge

And I watch the children trip away
Waiting on today

Verse 3

Watch me get up with nowhere to go
Watch me get up I got nowhere to go
And can’t you see, see I can think
Won’t you get me something to drink

History

(as told by Lanny Caldwell)
This song was written during one of my times while experimenting with LSD. There really is not much to add except the chorus was written ironically. As anyone who has used acid can elaborate on, the colors are amazingly bright while on the drug. Bucket of Pale was my way of adding a little fun to what is basically a nonsense song. The bridge really was probably me trying to say drugs were a bit of an escape during our youth while waiting on our futures to begin.

I Wonder

Verse 1

Now I raise my hands as my eyes follow the motion
Of my hands in the air my feet inside the ocean

Chorus

Now I watch the waves crash down on the shore
And I realize there’s got to be more
Can’t give me what I need
To hunger and feed

Chorus

But still, I wonder
I’ll always wonder
But still, I wonder
I’ll always wonder

Verse 2

Distant lands and faraway places
Hidden caves and such small spaces

Spoken

Now I watch as the leaves fall to the ground
Change the scene and changing the season all around
And endless thoughts they flow
Memories cease in my mind

Still I wonder

History

(as told by Lanny Caldwell)
This song was written one day while vacationing in Myrtle Beach. I remember being pretty bored and just feeling stuck in a very conservative small town with no real space to attain my dreams. That day with my feet in the sand and water I started to write about that feeling and letting my mind daydream about distant lands while feeling trapped in a small space.

In the Bottle

Verse 1

He threw a fist right to her face
Was it not, was it not his place?
I thought of her as I feel silent
Knowing he was so goddamn violent

Chorus

Now what is the meaning
Of a world so lost in hate
Was it her choice?
Or just the meaning of her fate

Verse 2

Pictures in my mind of her red eye
Pulled at my thoughts of all his lies
Who’s to blame in such a rage
She feels locked inside his cage

Spoken

As she slowly climbs up the stairs
She turns the key to unlock the door
Like she’s done so many times before

Verse 3

She looks at me, wonder is in me
I lie back down, what’s to be is to be
That’s the thought of too many minds
Truth is nothing for them to find

Spoken

Shadows take over the night
They give way to her fright
She slowly walks up the stairs
Turns the key to unlock the door...

History

(as told by Lanny Caldwell)
This is a fictional account of a guy watching his friend descend into alcoholism that leads to abuse of his spouse. The guy has a first-hand account of the abuse and struggles with reconciling the abuse (was it not his place?). There is also guilt as he knows he should do something but sits silently with his thoughts betraying his conscience (what’s to be is to be). The first spoken part is about the constant returning of her to this relationship with the second left open to interpretation on whether she finally had enough and decided to do something about it or simply returning to the cage of abuse. While performing live the bridge would often serve as a jamming space with us trying different things/riffs that ended up parts of other songs. Also included during this jamming time would be something of a drum solo with myself joining Kelly on the toms for a bit.

Let It Go

Verse 1

Searching for the inside
Tell me who I follow
What words do I speak?

Chorus

Let it go get it back again
Let it go get it back again

Verse 2

Big brother lashing inside
I give in and try to hide
From his only lie
Am I wrong, or right?

Verse 3

Searching for the inside
Tell me who I follow
What words do I speak?
Am I safe here tomorrow?

History

(as told by Lanny Caldwell)
Another Gen X Anthem about authority and the distrust of it for our generation. Trying to find information and the truth is really hard when people on the inside are constantly manipulating the facts and information. Do we just give up? Do we follow blindly? Will we be safe in a world where facts are constantly labeled false and vice versa? That was the feeling of this song and honestly that feeling has grown even stronger through these last few years.

Lost In Time

Verse 1

Distant moon is purple, moon in, in full circle
Colors give off light, hatred burns inside

Chorus

Well, I’m lost in time
Well, I’m lost in my mind

Verse 2

Saw you on the TV, is it you or me?
Circle around a path that leaves it cold and bare

Bridge

Dream until today
Watch it all fade away
Now am I right?

Repeat Verse 1

History

(as told by Lanny Caldwell)
This one came to life as I was watching a movie based on the true story of the protests that turned deadly at Kent State. I remember thinking that I felt born out of time and always loved the stories and ideals that came out of the 60s Revolution. At the time I was writing this I longed for purpose in my life and standing up for what is right seemed like a very noble one that many people in the 60s took part in. I had no idea at the time that many years later the same feeling would arise again with the many cop shootings and the BLM movement. History seems such a circular thing and I think us trying to find our place and purpose in it is very much part of the human experience.

Fading Dreams

Verse 1

He pricks his finger and the blood drips off his hand
Little boy on the beach and he’s playing on the sand

Chorus

And yet he knows his fear
Because he knows we’re near
Closed inside this gate
He wonders through fading dreams

Verse 2

Knowing no one’s worth
Except his very own
He’s all by himself
But he’s never alone

Chorus 2

And yet he knows his fate
Because he feels the hate
Closed inside this gate
He wonders through fading dreams

Spoken

Walking, slowly stepping through the sand, he’s entered...

Verse 3

He spills a drink
Spills it from his arm
Pulling at the pictures
And he’s pulling them apart

History

(as told by Lanny Caldwell)
This track highlights the struggles many have on a day-to-day basis with mental illness. Self-hurt, paranoia, and schizophrenia are all things highlighted in these lyrics. The person portrayed here is one that is losing hope while at the same time losing their grip on reality. I probably would have been way more sensitive in the way I approached this in my older age, but I was trying to convey what it must feel like in my limited knowledge in the early 90s.

Slide

Verse 1

Writing on the paper disappear into vapor
Promises whispered in the night
Makes you lose the insight

Chorus

Watch us slide
Watch me slide
Watch us slide
Watch me slide

Verse 2

Stood in a pool of violence
Hear me speak to the silence
Wishing with all our might
Wishing the stars were bright

History

(as told by Lanny Caldwell)
This last song is yet another angst-driven tune. This time I do remember specifically thinking about the issues and corruption that organized religion and televangelists found themselves in during this time. It seemed to me that a lot of promises were being whispered without the thought or even the ability to come through on those promises. It felt like we were being duped constantly by religious leaders who preached morality but had none themselves. It felt like a slide into a dark place and time, hence the name. A bright future seemed more like a wish than a promise that could be fulfilled.